I have shared parts of my life story with you in on this website and will do so again for this specific purpose. This time it will be from my ego’s perspective and not necessarily the factual data as it may have looked to an outsider.

First, I did not feel wanted. When I had re birthing and past life sessions years ago that theme was prevalent. I got that message in the womb and it continued on throughout my early life. It was apparent that I could never please my mother. Got the opposite input from father and other family members. That started the pattern of confusion that I carried with me into adulthood. One part of me did feel powerful, the part that knew God. I did feel that connection until puberty and then it vanished. I felt abandoned and lost for many years.

The Ego started craving attention and love. First I became an achiever in school to get validation. Then the real show-stopper.... Boys! They became the main focus of my attention and neediness. I desperately wanted their recognition so I could feel accepted and popular. That pattern took me into my middle teen years. I met my then to be husband when I was 15. He gave me a feeling of security because he saw how negative my family's dynamic was. I thought he was "my savior." He became my "Knight In Shining Armor" to take me away from all this. It did work for 18 years. When we parted I was ill equipped to cope with reality. I had given him all my power and lost connection to myself. I was ill, depressed and lost. Moved across the country to find myself. That was a first and major step toward rebuilding a self I had lost contact with.

For approximately the next 20 years, from the time I was in my 30's until my mid 50's, i kept searching for the "love of my life." Was sure that if I had the right relationship my dreams would come true. Wrong!!! Had several different men in my life, and two long term partners. I had no idea who I was, what I needed, or what healthy communication or boundaries were about. Both of those men were very dear and even with love present, they were both dysfunctional relationships. They mirrored my own need for healing perfectly. Of course, I did not see that and suffered through a great deal of pain with each break-up. At the same time I was a Spiritual Seeker. The pain from those relationships was the catalyst to seeking my re-connection to God. It was always in the background. My search took me in many different directions and through many detours. Each one took me closer to letting go of my Ego's perceptions and sometimes brought me to my knees. At some point I began to see that the story was no longer important. I didn't need that "dream guy" to save me. I didn't need anything except clarity and the connection to that still small voice within. My path became brighter and my eyes felt clearer.

Tools For Transformation

3. Meditate - Create a sacred space in your enviornment

Ending The Story - Transformation

First we have our story. It begins and ends with the same theme. We are sure that we are human beings and have to live a human experience. We are sure that we are born into bodies, male or female, we are sure that we grow from babies into adults and that we have to pay taxes, earn a living and then we are sure that our bodies die. What happens to those bodies after this "death" is subject to a mixed bag of speculation dependent on our religious and programmed belief systems.

Our belief systems vary and have a wide scope. Some think that we can have what We Want, live our dreams and be happy. Many believe that God is punitive and will punish us if we sin. Others are sure that we have to struggle and suffer. It is amazing that a species can have so many different belief systems and ideology and survive at all. The animal kingdom makes it simple. Survival of the Fittest. Our human kingdom is based on complexities that do indeed boggle the mind. Is it any wonder that so many of us are confused and turn to drugs, medication, alcohol and other types of emotional depressants?

Our human story in this lifetime starts with the messages and signals from our chosen parent's while we are in the womb. We arrive on Planet Earth feeling either LOVED....or REJECTED. Our early years will support one of those extremes, with most of us vacillating between them, feeling confused abandoned or lost. Our Ego's perceptions are formed and it interprets our feelings and thoughts. Then along comes the Inner Judge, the one who decides whether we are going to be happy, sad and experience life as painful or joyful. We then feel good/bad, happy/sad, love/unloved, beautiful/ugly, smart/stupid, again the pairs of opposites. Most of us experience ourselves within that spectrum on a daily basis.

I urge you to look at your story. You may want to look at your life as if you were writing it as a tangible story for publication. By doing that it can distance you from the emotional impact of your experience and let you see the purpose and broader picture of your journey.

We can get beyond the story. It keeps us stuck and limited. We can get beyond the Ego's perceptions of what we need. We can get beyond the Inner Judge's criticisms and demands. When we do we are free. Free to express, create and uplift each other and the Planet. That is the carrot that staying on our Path holds for us. Reach for it, go for it, the Stars are shining and you are one of them.

IT IS So. We are The Group. Thank you.