At times I get into a conflict about Dreams, Fantasy, Magic, Faith, God and Trust. When I was a young girl I was very connected to the Deva kingdom. I felt the presence of magical energy around me all the time. I really thought I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth and lived my inner life in a world of opulence and abundance. My outer world did not reflect that materially, but it had no affect on me. I knew who I was and felt empowered and clear in that area.

When I got into my early teen years and later when I was married, I lost touch with the magical world that was so much a part of me. My outer reality reflected what I had felt earlier on, but in many ways I denied myself the experience of living that fully. As I look back I can see that I manifested exactly what I had felt and focused on as a child. Unlimited freedom and abundance. The only problem was I didn't see that and didn't enjoy the freedom or the abundance fully. It is amazing but it was not until I was writing this did that awareness break through.

Then I began my Spiritual Journey and was exposed to many different paths and choices. Sometimes I embraced the magical fantasy life that I had touched base with as a child, and at other times became very focused trying to discipline myself to be dedicated and focus my energy on listening to God and inner direction. The two worlds didn't always mesh. They felt like they were arguing with each other. The teachings I was studying didn't address the dreams and fantasies of the child within. They spoke to my higher self and the adult and were very clear on direction and focus. It didn't seem to address the fairies, angels and the whole Deva Kingdom where my imagination and dreams resided. At the time it seemed like I had to give all that up and be still and not get into the imaginative creative energy force that is so much a part of my nature.

Slowly I became aware of the imbalance I was creating by being so hard on myself. I allowed the child to come out and play, speak and let her be free again. Presently it seems time to bring out the magical part of my nature and let the colorful imagination integrate with the rest of me. That feels somewhat daunting but I know it is where I will trust and remain open to the process.

I would encourage you to reclaim the parts of yourself that you may have set aside on this journey called "being human." It is where the "manna" is of who we are and where we want to go. When the children integrate with us on all levels we can take them with us to God and be healed.

Thank you.